When I have to get up at night to go to the bathroom I check the shower just to make sure a murderer isn’t hiding in there, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.

You can never be too careful.


fandoms are the weirdest thing like all you have to do is say a single word and they go batshit

  • okay: whoop the tfios fandom is crying
  • demon: and all of a sudden the whole supernatural fandom speaks latin
  • precious: lotr is making pterodactyl noises and pretending to have hunchbacks
  • shield: marvel won't sit still
  • screwdriver: collectively, every doctor who fan mumbles something about wood
  • detective: the sherlock fandom is unconsciously making inappropriate sounds again
  • magic: and all of a sudden every person in the harry potter world is holding an invisible stick
  • father: makes star wars scream noooooooooooooo
  • enterprise: and every trekkie in the universe is doing the hand thing
  • capitol: and the hunger games fandom is doing the other hand thing